How To Stay Sane When It’s Your Turn To Look After Mom And Dad

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So they looked after you from when you were a baby until the time you flew the nest. And if we’re honest, probably way beyond that too. They wiped your bottom, taught you how to use a spoon, comforted you when you cried and rejoiced in all your achievements. Which is why it’s even more heartbreaking when your Mom and Dad start to get older and might need the care that they once so lovingly gave you. It can be a stressful time when it comes to that awful day when you realize it’s now your turn to look after you parents. And that’s not because you think it’s a burden. But with little experience in looking after the elderly and a busy family life, it’s no easy feat. And you can add to that the pain of seeing your parents lose their independence. Below are some ideas on how to make the transition a little bit easier.

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Asking For Help

Not only is it overwhelming when you have to become a carer for one or more of your parents, but I guarantee it’s no fun for them either. No one wants to lose their independence, their mobility, or their ability to cook and clean for themselves. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking on both sides of the fence. The best thing you can do at this point is to learn that you are not alone. Don’t bottle up your feelings until they bubble over into anger or stress. Ask your friends that are in similar situations how they are coping and if they have any ideas to make it easier. And ask your parents about their feelings too. Honesty and communication are the only ways to make this transitional period easier. If your parents are still able enough to live alone and do not have dementia or Alzheimer’s you can look into getting a home service in to help with chores. Follow this click to learn more about the benefits of in-home care services. Investing in this service can alleviate some of the stress on both yourself and your parents. In-home care services can provide companionship and help with everything from laundry and cooking to transportation and hospital appointments. And it still gives your parents a feeling of independence.

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Moving Your Parents In

However, if it has got to the stage where your parents can no longer live alone, you may want to consider a care home. More often than not, though, Mom and Dad will feel an overwhelming sense of grief if this option is voiced. If you would rather, it may be possible to move them into your family home and take on the role of carer while also employing others to help to. If you are thinking of moving your parents into your home, it will need to be discussed with all family members. It’s certainly going to be a big change to the family dynamic. Your parents will be losing their independence and authority so that you can expect anger, tear and frustration on both sides. You will need to make sure there is enough space in your home so that they don’t feel like a spare part. They will need their own bedroom and bathroom. And preferably a private living room space too. It’s a lot to take on and may require house renovation. You will also need to be realistic about how much care and supervision you can provide. There will be many tough aspects of moving your parents into your family home, but there are also benefits too. If you have a close relationship with your parents, it’s time to rejoice in sharing these final years with them. And elderly parents still have lots of skills to offer. You might find your kids love to sew with them. Or perhaps Dad loves to potter in the garden with your husband. Perhaps they can still read bedtime stories to your toddlers or sing with you in the kitchen while you’re both washing up. Having your parents at home also gives you a chance to help them remain active by enjoying outdoor activities with them too. Yes, it’s a tough slog when things change for the worse, but there’s still time to change them for the better too.

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