by: Trisha Novotny
24/7 MOMS Founder
You know that saying when one allows someone to get away with more then they should? One night when my first born daughter was a teenager she inquired why it was 10:00 pm and her two younger brothers were still up, with no sign of going to bed any time soon. I responded with “You know your dad – he let’s them get away with murder”. Only to then hear her repeat it to those staying up past their bedtime, while they were watching a movie. Caleb, our puzzled boy whom takes everything literally yelled out “what, dad did not let me murder anyone”. Of course we chuckled and let him know it was only a saying.
After walking away from this conversation, I once again realized how different my husband and I parent our children – I want schedules, rules and lots of lists. He wants guidelines, care free days and to fly by the seat of his pants.
It was a non on school night so staying up an hour longer then the typical 8:30pm bed time was fine in my rule book, but staying up 2 or 3 hours past bed time was NOT. Apparently it is in the dad’s guidelines of having father son time.
So, off to my bed I went and wrote to my mom friends why I was OK allowing my husband to let my kids get away with murder (not literally).
I believe our parenting differences give our kids a balance of rules vs. guidelines, a balance of being completely scheduled to being allowed to relax and be a kid, a balance of going by lists and flying by the seat of their pants. After 32 years on the mom journey I am now observing my children live their lives being raised by a mom and a dad who parented differently.
They are organized, make lists, have rules in their own homes, keeps to daily schedules and then I see the balance take over as they allow the mselves to experience freedom to relax, toss aside those to do lists, let things go and fly by the seat of their pants enjoying the journey of life. Thus, I am thankful my kids have had a dad who let them get away with murder or they just might turn out to be little robots if I was their only parent.
Thankfully that next day was a no school day so that my kids could sleep in and I did not have to race around the house packing lunches, making breakfast, brushing their teeth, making sure clothes were on straight not inside out again and that they had socks on their feet before they ran out the door. We were able to move at a slower pace without to do lists and maybe we even flew by the seat of our pants for part of that day .
How do you parent differently then the dad?