Sometimes in your marriage it feels like you are just trying to survive rather than thriving. Life gets busy with your careers, taking care of the kids, and every other little thing. Soon enough you begin to forget about your relationship together, and just how important it really is to make sure your marriage is thriving rather than surviving.
What does it mean to thrive, not just survive, in your marriage?
Creating habits for your marriage is where you can get started to feel like your marriage is thriving. Habits are like exercising. You really have to work on your marriage and relationship with each other in order to see good results.
Today I want to share with you 6 habits that has made my marriage successful.
1. Modeling to Your Kids
Modeling things to your kids helps you think about how you are behaving, responding, and reacting in your marriage. Demonstrating a healthy marriage sets you up to thrive in your marriage, but also lets your kids know what a healthy marriage looks like and for their future.
You can model to your kids by complimenting your spouse in front of them. Another way you can model to your kids is by serving one another with what you do for each other. It can be simple things, such as willing to help others and put things aside even if it disrupts your day.
Your day to day habit is also important as your kids will continually watch how you behave and react to each other.
2. Put God at the Center of Your Marriage
Putting God at the center of your marriage is important. With big decisions to make, we pray about it. We make sure we go to church together. This habit also models to our kids how important it is to put God at the center of your marriage. They see that we spend time praying and go to church together.
We really encourage our kids and friends to spend time with counseling or encouraging in their marriages that this is one of the top priorities.
3. Have a Date Night
Always have a date night with just the two of you. You can always go on date night with friends too.
When I first got married, we continued to go on date nights, but I soon realized that we could just forget this whole date night thing and not spend time on the two of us. We also would be missing time out with our friends and encouraging them or them encouraging us.
We put a priority on dating once a week. Our day was Thursday because it was the easiest for our family’s schedule. If we needed a babysitter, we made sure to fit it in our budget. When the older kids got old enough, we had them babysit the younger ones. You can always find someone else to swap babysitting with. You watch their kids one night a week and they watch your kids one night a week, so you both can get date nights with your spouses.
Your date night can just be about anything. You can go out to dinner together. Sometimes I even ran errands with my husband. Going on walks is another thing we did. No matter what it is just spending time together is important.
4. Share Responsibilities
It’s never too late to share responsibilities. It’s a great model for your kids and a marriage that thrives because no one is just feeling like they are carrying all the responsibilities and having to do it all.
We shared the parenting with many things. We took turns driving the kids to activities and their sports. We both helped with homework and getting the kids off to school in the morning. During this whole time, we made sure to communicate with each other. Communicating is important.
5. Show Affection with Each Other
Showing affection with each other is not only good for your marriage, but also modeling to your kids. A physical relationship and showing you love each other is important. It also easy for many of us to forget about showing affection when we get so busy and forget.
6. Accept Your Differences
Each of you are a valuable person and has many great gifts. You both have many talents and good things to bring to the table. It’s important that you both accept your differences and realize there is value in your differences.
Take time to figure out how you can make your differences work. I have to remember this a lot that my husband doesn’t do everything like I do. He doesn’t think the way I think either. I learned I had to appreciate and accept that.
I hope you will think about one or two of these things to help your marriage. I challenge you to work on your marriage together. Create habits that will bring success to your marriage. Use one or two of these habits to help exercise success in your marriage today. Remember there is no perfect marriage. Stop looking at other people’s marriages. Marriages work but you have to be willing to put into it.