My husband and I have been married for over 30 years now. Over the decades, it feels like we have been through all the things life can throw at you. We have had our ups and downs. We have had our richer and poorer times. We’ve lived in wonderful homes, and had five children together.
We’ve both fallen in love, had our differences, and fallen in love all over again during those 30 years. Given it all, those ups and downs, we have grown a lot. I have learned a lot about myself. My husband has learned a lot about me. I have learned a lot about being married too.
Check out the 10 important things I’ve learned after 30 years of marriage!
1. Learn to Apologize
Learning to say “I’m sorry” can be very difficult. You have to learn to swallow your pride and apologize for something you might have said or did that was wrong. Sometimes your actions and words can be hurtful to your partner. I’ve learned that apologizing can really go a long way.
2. It’s OK to Fight
Fighting is a healthy part of any relationship when it comes to solving a problem. There is nothing wrong with it so long as it is once in a while. We always make sure to keep it civil. Avoid calling each other names. Don’t fight in front of the children too.
3. Leave It in the Past
It is easy to start keeping tabs on the things your partner has done. You might file them away and use them later when you fight. However, no matter how many “bad cards” you each might have, it never is worth it to keep it in the present. Leave it in the past. Nothing truly comes from bringing up the past.
4. Be Honest
Lies are simply lies. The little lies aren’t harmless. They quickly add up and can eventually erode the trust in your relationship you have built together.
5. Take Time for Yourself
Even though we married each other, we still have our own individual identities. Remember to spend time with friends, trying a new hobby, or just going on your own adventure every now and again. Even getting one day alone once in a while can really do wonders for yourself.
6. Make Time for Each Other
Since we both wanted to have a family of our own, we never realized how much time it would take of our own together. Sure, you spend a lot of time together taking care of the kids, but it isn’t the same when it’s just you and your partner. You need to keep dating each other and spending those moments you can alone.
7. Find a Common Ground Together
We didn’t always agree on everything. But learning to find a common ground has helped us come to an understanding. No matter the issue, I’ve learned it’s always better to have an understanding than having that elephant in the room you don’t talk about.
8. Keep It Exciting
Over the three decades I’ve been married to my husband, we have changed. Our interests have changed as well. I’ve learned that even being with my husband for 30 years, it’s important to keep things exciting by finding fun, trying new things together, and whatever you both want to do.