Being married for over 30 years now has taught me that living happily ever after is the part that takes a lot of work. Falling in love and saying “I do” was the easy part.
Making a marriage work is no easy task. It takes a lot of compromises and finding common ground when it comes to differences between you. There are many decisions to make together when it comes to your different careers, opportunities, and even if you decide to become a parent.
There are a couple of things I have learned over the years. I want to share some advice with you about what makes a marriage stand and successful.
- Share everything with each other. You want to share your feelings because there is no way to be on common ground if you don’t communicate what you are feeling.
- Remember that the bad times will pass.
- Always touch each other, kiss each other good morning and good night, and have plenty of moments of intimacy (it doesn’t matter how old you are!).
- Being a parent can be stressful, but don’t worry they grow up eventually.
- Don’t hold onto the little things. Think about the big picture. Remember your relationship is bigger than a minor problem.
- Take time for yourself to do what you love and what makes you happy. It will help you be strong and fulfilled as an individual.
- Always communicate. Don’t give each other the silent treatment. Talk about the things that bother you and not letting your emotions build up.
- Never be afraid to compromise. You aren’t giving up your ideals, but sometimes it comes part of the push and pull of a relationship.
- Remember to be spontaneous. Change things up once in a while such as date nights or taking a mini-vacation. Give small gifts or gestures—these can really go a long way.
- Be patient with each other. You both are growing together at different times and ways.
- Don’t forget to celebrate when good things happen.
- Tell each other about your needs. We aren’t mind readers. If you feel disconnected and that you want a day alone together or a date, tell them!
- Build your spouse up. Support them all the way!
- Make each other laugh. Don’t always be so serious.
- Don’t forget to say “I love you” and reminding your spouse how attractive they are.
- Trust your partner and be trustworthy.
- Always remember why you fell in love with each other.
- Appreciate what you have with each other. Sometimes your marriage can be fragile and need to be taken care of.
- Make a budget together. You can talk about your plans and dreams for the future. Discuss how you can make them happen.
- Always enjoy the NOW! No matter how complicated things are getting. Embrace it and enjoy it all!