Time is flying by! It’s now May, our college selection is complete, and it’s time to relax, at least a little bit. Now, our students need to focus on finishing strong while also enjoying the various senior activities and events (graduation parties, prom, senior outings, etc.) that will happen throughout the rest of spring. There may be a couple of forms to complete for their chosen university (IF that’s their next step), but for now, it’s time to let your graduating student soak up these final weeks of high school and friends. Are they lacking in motivation for their studies? For sure! It pays to remember we were too.
Of course, we all hope that our teens will be the responsible ones, the ones who choose not to participate in underage drinking, irresponsible partying, or any other activities that may harm their reputation. May is an incredibly timely month to bring up the topics of reputation, values, and their personal brand. Few things are as important (and fragile!) as our reputation. Why? Well, it’s very difficult—nearly impossible—to fully recover from a damaged one. In your teen’s first year away from home, his or her values will be tested like never before, and many of today’s (or tomorrow’s) decisions will have long-term consequences. And, graduation season offers many opportunities to get derailed.
When we stay true to our core values and strive to be a person of admirable character and integrity in all circumstances, we will have less stress, a clearer conscience, and fewer regrets moving forward. If you want to take “inventory” of you and your teen’s most important values, try going through this values checklist. (Or you can find it here: http://dennistrittin.com/resources/Positive%20Traits%20and%20Values.pdf.)
It will be a great conversation starter for the whole family!
The month of May should also be a time for you and your teen to really connect as you develop and strengthen the new dynamic of your relationship. As you begin to discuss the issues of reputation and values, here are some other “conversation starters” to get fruitful, meaningful talks started:
- Review the types of upcoming situations where their values may be challenged, and how they plan to approach them (prom, parties, senior sleep-outs, senior skip days, etc.). When they’re in a high-risk situation, what will their plan of action be?
- If you haven’t done so, create a “rescue plan.” Agree on a code word or phrase that your teen will text or call you with that indicates a problem situation that needs immediate attention and rescue. This may sound overly protective, but it can be a life saver!
- Have them consider the various influences in their lives, such as family, music, movies/TV, friends, social media, organizations and clubs, etc. Help them be able to determine which influences may be positive, which may be negative, and which are neutral. Encourage them to avoid negative influences at all costs.
- Share some realistic scenarios (maybe from your own personal experience) of the college lifestyle (including but not limited to parties, drugs, alcohol, hook-up culture, cheating, etc.) and discuss ways to handle them. Prevention is always the best medicine, but impromptu decision-making skills are essential, too!
Enjoy your time with your soon-to-be adult as the school year comes to a close. Remember to be open and honest with them, as they are much less “kids” these days as they are maturing young adults. Stay tuned for next month, when we will talk about focus points for June!
About the author
Dennis Trittin is the author of What I Wish I Knew at 18: Life Lessons for the Road Ahead and Parenting for the Launch: Raising Teens to Succeed in the Real World. Through his books, blog, and nationwide speaking engagements, Dennis prepares students for life success and equips parents and educators in their vital training role. You can find him here on Facebook.