Hearing the word “divorce” seems more popular today than it has been before. In fact, nearly 50 percent of marriages are ending in divorce. There are a variety of reasons as to why, but sometimes these problems come from the lack of the poor choices we might make or not nurturing our marriage with our partner.
It’s always been important to me to help cultivate my marriage with my husband. I’ve learned over time it requires commitment, compromise, communication, and admiration. Just like a garden, we need to nourish our relationship with our spouses. We need to get rid of the weeds and nourish the plants within our garden.
While I never had the answers to everything, I knew I needed to be open and honest. I needed to learn to understand. And when I did all of this, my marriage was able to grow.
Check out these 5 ways to keep your marriage growing!
1. Put God at the Center of Your Marriage
Jesus spoke about having a firm foundation in our spiritual life and our earthly lives as well. We can do this by being obedient to God’s Word.
Building your marriage on Jesus can help withstand any storms your marriage might face. These storms can be bad habits, deficiencies, and other sins that might destroy our relationship with our partner. When we are not obedient to God that is when sin enters our lives and can create consequences.
Thus, when we are connected to God and make him the center of our marriage, we become a powerhouse together!
2. Spending Your Time Together
If you are not spending time together, then you are not nurturing your relationship (or the garden). Your relationship will hit a rut and stall. I know life can get messy and busy, but when we don’t connect with our spouse, we forget the importance of our relationships with our spouse and even sometimes the kids.
Make a commitment to spend time together without the kids or any other interruptions. You can do an activity together you both enjoy doing, such as a hobby, playing a sport, going to a play, taking a cooking class, and so much more. Do something together where you can learn from each other and learn something new. It can make you feel like a team again!
3. Show Gratitude
Do you remember the last time you showed your spouse some gratitude? Sometimes we might take our loved one for granted. We might forget to show them the love they need.
You can improve your marriage by simply saying “I love you” and “thank you” more. These simple words have powerful meaning behind them and can make your loved one feel appreciated.
Send your partner a text, handwritten note, or pick up their favorite meal or treat and surprise them with it. Give your spouse a hug and kiss a couple minutes every day to show your affection and appreciation for them.
4. Accepting Your Differences
Each of us brings something different to a marriage. The more we spend time with our partners it might widen. We then might become indifferent to their habits or quirks. It can be quick for us to be less receptive of their bad habits or quirks we no longer love, but this is when we need to focus on the positive aspects and find appreciation for those things we first loved before marriage.
Sometimes the differences in our partners can help balance us out and make you all together a great team. So come to accept that you both are different people, but you both bring something valuable to build your marriage and become a great team together.
5. Remember to Fight Fairly
You cannot avoid fights within your marriage, but when you fight it’s important to fight fairly.
Fights with our spouses can be very heated at times. We might have something slip out of our mouth that is very hurtful to our spouses, but we truly did not mean those unkind words.
If you are going to be heated during your fights, you need to try to prevent these types of fights from escalating. Step away from the situation and calm down. Remember that you are wanting to find a solution to the problem. You obviously love your partner, and it’s good to remind them that you want to figure out a solution and you love them.
You can apologize to them if the fight escalates. However, do something before it gets to that point and handle the issue as it emerges. Don’t let the situation bury inside of you. It can eat away at you and become a huge problem later. Put aside your pride, fight fairly, and look for a solution you both can agree on. This might mean finding a compromise.