When you find out you are pregnant, you might find yourself reading at least a dozen baby books. First time parents might be reading books about their transition into parenthood. Parents expecting another on the way might be wondering how they are going to handle another one in the house, or how they might grow an extra pair of hands to get everything done.
While parenting books might be filled with a lot of information there are just some things these books cannot tell you. You have to experience some of these things on your own. One thing for sure your baby does change is your marriage.
Check out some of these changes books cannot really explain about marriage after the baby comes!
Your pre-existing life changes
You might find yourself trying to adjust to having a new little one to care for. Often you will be taking the time to care for the newborn and not able to do the things you did before. Even when another one comes on the way your life can changed in so many other ways.
As a couple you might have spent a lot of time together doing your favorite activities and going out but there will be new moments you share together as parents. Your life will soon revolve around playdates, snack time, and even reading bedtime stories.
It’s important to discuss what you want your new life to look like. Do you want your family to continue the same activities you two did together? You could be the boating, hiking, or music family. Maybe even a bit of both.
High stress, and no sleep!
You both will experience sleep deprivation in a way you never have before! There are many little things to care for when it comes to taking care of your new little one, but also that small being wakes up every few hours in the night. Tension can rise easily with lack of sleep and learning how to care for your new baby and being a parent. It can start to wear on both of your nerves and even create frustration and irritation with one another in your marriage.
Remember to make a conscience effort to bring back thanking each other and other kind words. It can help make the tension less and show that each other’s effort is noticed and appreciated.
You have zero free time
As a new parent you will be leaving a life behind where you had a lot of free time for yourself and doing what you love. Even when you are a parent with more than one child there is never a free time really either since you are likely helping one child with something and another one is asking for you to play with them. And for some strange reason, when you find the time to get away from the kids all you do is think about them!
You can get some of your free time back though. It’s definitely necessary for a parent’s sanity too! When you actually do get free time, make sure it really counts. Be mindful of what you are doing and focus who you are with if you go out with friends or spend time with your spouse. Take care of yourself and maybe even indulge in some of your favorite activities you did more of before your life changed with having kids. Remember you become a better partner and parent when you are able to find time for yourself.
Your relationship with each other can be lost in the dark
There are so many changes happening in your lives and activities at home that keep you on your feet, so it’s easy to forget the relationship you both have built together. The health of your family is reflected on the foundation of the relationship it all started from. If you are both struggling, then the rest of your family is too!
It’s so important in this part of your marriage, and even the family too, to make time for each other and remember that your marriage is still your relationship with each other. Try to get time for each other when you can, such as planning a date night weekly or even getting a ten-minute period together.
Being a parent is an amazing experience
There are truly no words to describe how wonderful being a parent really is. While it is a huge change for you and your spouse it can bring you both closer and create a bond even stronger than before. Keep changing with each other as you progress through parenthood together. Talk, love, experience, and grow together. These moments together in your life that you and your spouse (even the kids too!) will always remember.