Moving abroad can provide unparalleled opportunities for a child. But the upheaval of moving to a strange environment can also be enormously unsettling. Toddlers and babies, who associate home with the presence of the parents and a few familiar comforts, tend to adapt the best. Older teenagers, who may already be getting ready to fly the nest, can also cope well. It’s those in between- children old enough to have put down roots at home, established close friendships and shaped their identities around culturally specific signifiers- who may struggle with a prolonged move abroad if not adequately prepared.
Involve them in the process
It’s a mistake to think that if you don’t talk to them about the move, then your children won’t worry about it. Almost always, the opposite is true. Don’t just tell them what is going to happen, but give them a sense of involvement with the transition. Ask them what their worries and hopes are: what they’ll miss most about home, but also what they’re looking forward to most about their new country. Answer all of their questions honestly, and if you don’t know the answer then look it up together. The most important thing is that your child trusts you, as this is the foundation of their sense of security in the new country.
Choose an appropriate school
The transition to a different culture will be easier for your children if they can speak their own language at school and follow a curriculum similar to the one they’re used to. For example, the international schools in Singapore help children from the country’s large English-speaking expat community integrate and make friends by providing an educational environment similar to the one they’ve left behind. Academic achievements will only follow once social and emotional wellbeing has been established.
Make a friendship bridge
If you have a school place secured for your child in advance then it can help if they make friends with some of their fellow schoolmates ahead of going there. This can be done by letter, as in traditional pen pals, or online, via email or social media. Similarly, make provisions for them to stay in touch with their old friends back home, as well as giving them the opportunity to say goodbye properly. In this way, you can build a bridge between their old friendships and the new ones to come.
Bring pets if you can
Having to leave behind the family pet can be one of the most traumatic features of a move abroad for children, so if you can do so bring your cat and dog, but make sure you check local regulations at your destination first. In Singapore, not only are there restrictions on the breeds of dog that can be brought in, but there are rules as to how many and what size you can have, depending on the size of your new home.
Overall, try to communicate a positive impression of the move and emphasize the things your child can look forward to. At the same time don’t shy away from addressing their worries and fears. Listening to your child and involving them in the transition is the best way to successfully integrate them into their new homeland.