5 Seemingly Innocent Things You Should Never Do As Parents

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Being parents is a bliss. It’s challenging, but it’s very fulfilling. But let’s admit, the first few years of parenting is full of trial and error, especially when you have multiple kids.

So here I am sharing with you how not to raise your children. I’m no expert, but these are based on my personal experience and I can say the results are not desirable.

But note that I am not saying my parents are bad. They’re the best mom and dad. I would never ask for anyone else. But as I said, parenting is full of trial and error. And here are some of the things I wish they thought of a million times before doing.

Being financially unprepared

When my dad married my mom, he hasn’t graduated from college. But he’s at the marrying age. It was just that my dad was a working student so it took him several years before he graduated.

My mom was the same. Well, she didn’t work while studying, but she just didn’t want to study. She came from a prominent family so she was a happy-go-lucky kind of girl.

So when they got married and had their first daughter, my dad had to go away to finish his studies. After he finished college, he worked then sent my mom to school. However, it wasn’t easy. When my mom was studying, they already have my older sister and me. And my sister had to go to school, too.

Consequently, most of the dad’s income went to the schooling of my mom and my sister. Leaving us with very little spare money. As a result, we couldn’t have what we wanted. We got what we needed alright, but there were countless of times when my sister and I would just look enviously at our friends’ new items.

Not explaining financial priorities

As a young girl, I didn’t understand the concept of prioritizing finances. I just knew money could buy you stuff.

I would ask my mom to buy me shoes or dolls or anything my friends had that I didn’t. She would often tell me, “We don’t have money.” But hours later, she would come home from the grocery bringing bags of food.

“I thought we didn’t have money,” I would whine. My mom wouldn’t answer me. Instead, she would give me cookies that I love.

Because of that, I had the impression that my mom was lying or that she was stingy to my needs. I didn’t hate her for that, but I know I felt some sort of rebellion inside. And the next time she would tell me we didn’t have money when I ask her to buy me something, I would make a fuss.

Discussing adult problems in front of the kids

Problems and adults may be two inseparable entities. Where there’s an adult, there’s a problem. It’s normal, but your kids don’t understand it. Yet.

My mom was the complaining type while my dad was more like the listener. He would only comment when he needs to.

While it’s good that they are openly communicating about their issues, sometimes these issues did not involve us siblings. And most of the time, we didn’t know the context.

As a result, we would have bad impressions about something or someone. Sometimes, it would be our parents whom we think are lacking. Sometimes it would be the neighbors. Because of that, our dealings with them would change.

Praising the children not their efforts.

We, parents, are the biggest fans of our kids. And we love to smother them with compliments. However, you have to think twice before saying, “You’re so smart!”

Our parents would always talk good about us in front of other people. That we can do this and that. That we are better than these and those kids. Well, it boosted our confidence, no doubt, but it also made us brag about ourselves.

Growing up, it turns out that there were plenty of other kids who were just like us. And that didn’t make us feel special. And for me, I somehow developed an inferiority complex. I wasn’t a snowflake after all.

Doing everything for your kids

My mom is a very busy person. She’s good at a lot of house chores like cleaning, cooking, fixing broken stuff, etc. And she can do them fast.

When we were little, I remember we would volunteer to help. But because my mom wants everything to be done as quickly as possible, she wouldn’t let us.

In the long run, my mom realized that that was one of her biggest mistakes. We grew up to be slackers, not wanting to do anything with the house chores. We would only lift our fingers when either she or Dad would take out the stick all of us are afraid of (corporal punishment was OK back then).

We do the house chores now, but there are still plenty of times when we pass on the task to the younger sibling.

Conclusion

Roses may be beautiful flowers, but remember their stems have thorns. What we do as parents may seem OK on the outside, but we might not notice the negative impact it has on our children.
Sarah Morgan. A sister, a daughter, a wife, but most especially a mother. Being a mother makes me realize that life is a great adventure. Join with me on my quest to be a better parent while living a healthier and fuller life at WellBeingKid.com.

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