At the moment, society places its praise on the work of adoptive parents, and rightly so. But as much as society loves adoptive parents, it hates birth mothers. There’s this idea that birth mothers just gave up on their kids or couldn’t be bothered. But this is just one of many myths about the women who feel they have no choice but to give up their child. In this post, we’re going to investigate some of the biggest myths about birth mothers. And then we’re going to quash them.
Myth: They Give Up On Their Kids
It’s unfortunate that so many people take the view that birth mothers have given up on their children. The truth is that birth mothers can give up on a lot of things. Chocolate, designer shoes: you name it. But you can bet that they don’t give up on their kids. The reason why so many mothers decide to put their children up for adoption is that they want them to have a better future. It’s because of their situation, not in spite of it, that birth mothers enter the adoption process.
Myth: Birth Mothers Don’t Love Their Children
Mothers and children have relationships that are forged by the power of biology. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the richest, most educated parent or are a down-and-outer. The link between mother and child is the same no matter who you are. That’s why it’s a myth to say that birth mothers don’t love their children. They do love them, just like every other mother.
Myth: They Are Selfish
Many people think that going through the birth mother adoption process is selfish. But, given what that process involves, it’s actually quite the opposite. Birth mothers usually act in the best interest of their kids. It’s the fact that they want the best for their kids that they are willing to override any selfish desires. Most of the time, birth mothers not only want their children to be happy but the adoptive parents too.
Myth: They Are All On Drugs
As a society, we have a serious drug problem. People from practically every group, from corporate CEOs to the slum-dwelling unemployed abuse substances. Yes, some birth mothers do take drugs. But that is to be expected in any big group of people. There are, of course, a great many who do not.
Myth: They’re Desperate To Get Rid Of Their Kids
Most birth mothers come to the conclusion that their child stands the best chance in life if they put them up for adoption. But birth mothers still find this process excruciatingly hard.
After birth mothers give birth, many of them want to spend as much time with their babies as possible. Even though they know that the baby will be taken from them soon, they still want to form bonds. Giving up a baby is never an easy decision.
Myth: They Move On
Once a birth mother has given birth to a child, they forge a strong emotional link. That link doesn’t end when the child is given up for adoption. It continues throughout the mother’s life. Mothers don’t just move on. Often, after a child is placed, birth mothers feel a profound sense of grief. They often feel intense feelings of loss and failure. And these are emotions that can stick with them for the rest of their lives.
Myth: They Forget Their Kids
We’re used to seeing parents who have forgotten or show no interest in their kids on reality TV shows. But the real world is very different from how the entertainment industry portrays it. Birth mothers are concerns with what their kids are doing in the world. And many birth mothers who don’t have contact spend their lives wondering what their offspring might be doing. If you spend any time talking to birth mothers, most will say that they think about what their kids might be doing every day. Perhaps they have a great family or a great career. It’s natural for them to miss their children and wonder what they are doing with their lives.
Myth: They Always Have Regrets
Giving a child away to another person is about as unnatural a thing that any woman can do. But give away their child, they know they must. Birth mothers don’t regret the decisions that they make, even though they cause them sorrow. They know that their decision was the best for the child, and ultimately it is the child who is their priority. There is a difference between feeling grief and feeling regret.