By Steph Fink
The summer throws a curve ball of slow into a go go go go go routine. So often I find myself resisting slow and saying, “No!” and just go go go go go. Do you know?
Some things I’ve wanted to say, “No!” to, but didn’t. Take for example my one son’s four-month phase where he faithfully wore a silver coffin necklace to school..to church…around the hood. Few things scream I HAVE STREET CRED AND SWAG louder than coffin bling…that you bought with your own money from the grocery store gumball machine.
I did not say, “No!”…but I did twitch a lot.
When the coffin clasp broke, my son saw his Momma almost as emotional as he was. His tears were grief while mine suggested gratitude.
Either way, it worked out.
He’s moved on and found comfort in the arms shell bling.
I’m not making a “deal” of this stage because it makes life can be harder than it needs to be. Like wrestling your poor dog into a doggie sized polo shirt…that’s not the easiest thing to do. And, it’s been suggested that I just say, “No!”
But I can’t. I won’t.
Cause, I have a knack for often making life harder than it needs to be. Really. And, I’m really not a fan. I’m so much of a make-my-life-harder-than-it-needs-to-be-hater that I asked God for help. God and I got to brain storming one day. I decided that this is the only life I’ll have so I better own it. God didn’tt say, “I told you so!” but I’m pretty sure I heard, “FINALLY!”
I could be way off base here.
I say, “No” a lot now. Like a lot, a lot. I’d estimate about 80% of the time I say, “No.” And I’ve found that life got a lot easier. The people pleaser still visits, and twitches, but my go to response is, “No.”
People pleasing and false martyrdom is exhausting work I tell ya. It sucks the life right outta ya and makes you not just want to wear a coffin but give up and jump in one! People pleasing is not unlike a drug addict patter, searching for the next hit and temporary high when someone is pleased with me for making myself miserable.
Do you have a difficult time saying, “No!” and go slow? Are there any moments when you feel particularly challenged (like at work, family or friends?) Do you or your kids have any particularly memorable coffin-bling-like-stages?
Steph Fink is an inspirational speaker, writer and blogger with a passion to encourage women with practical principles for purposeful and powerful lives. Steph blogs at encouragedinheart.org and gives daily encouragement on her Encouraged in Heart Facebook Page. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Encouraged-in-Heart-Stephanie-Fink/109784452427205