A Mother’s SecretI write this today and it is hard because I am not one to let people in on my own emotions. I have to emphasize how much I love my son and am so proud of his every accomplishment.
I am writing this to let other mothers of autistic or special needs children know that it is ok to not always feel ok about the situation that was given to you. I know as mothers we are supposed to be strong and not give into the pity party that you so want to throw for yourself, complete with a bottle of wine.
Today I am letting you all in on my secret I am sad, and fearful and somewhat always in mourning for the way things were supposed to be. It hurts me that my child has to work harder than other children. It hurts me that society does not always understand that this child that I love and protect won’t do the same. Today I want to stay in bed and never come out; I don’t want to make the hundredth phone call to the school to make certain they know something very simple that other children would just be able to explain. I cry sometimes after everyone else has gone to bed. I blame myself at times for the way things turned it out, it was a difficult pregnancy. I like everyone else want everyone to think that I am strong and can carry on with what was given to me. I am a mother and I am only human. We are all mothers and are only human it is ok to be sad. And then tomorrow it is another day this is for smiles and hugs and accomplishments.
Brandee is a stay at home mom to three kids. She enjoys writing, scrapbooking,stamping and of course spending time with her husband and children.