The three step plan to bring an end to Chore wars:
PLAN – PROCESS – PROBLEM SOLVING
Step 1 – Create a list – of age appropriate chores. Click here for our list of chore ideas.
Step 2 –Tracking System- choose system that works for your family. You can create your own on computer or purchase one. There are a variety of ways and ideas from check off lists, wall charts, online chore charting systems etc.
Step 2-Teach The How To’s
– Have supplies available and at their reach.
– Model-show how to and don’t forget your attitude with your work load.
– Practice -Do it together-literally side by side training
Step 3 -Let Them Go.
– Encourage your child for a job well done when they complete a chore. Even if it is not done to your perfectionate way.
– When your child does their chores or additional helpful things on their own – make sure you tell them how much you appreciate it and what a great job they did etc. It will encourage them to continue to become more independent.
Step 2 – Consequence – Make them clear, fair and consistent. If family responsibilities are not taken care of first then they lose a cherished privilege.
Step 3 – Rotate the TO DO list -Switch chores daily or weekly (makes it fair) and provides variety while teaches new skills.
Step 4 – Make it WORK- tweak the system – If your system is NOT working don’t feel like you are a failure mom in the chore wars, don’t quit–tweak it. Take time to evaluate what works and what isn’t working. Vacation, sport schedules, ages and stages and other changes requires flexibility.
For this mom it was wanting to end the “Did you do this? Did you do that” and not just their chores but brush their teeth, practice piano etc. so I began the check off list and it worked for us. I have even been known to take daily check off lists on vacation with me so they do their responsibilities of course tweaked a bit.
End result – Chores teach kids responsibility and that they are part of a family community its not about what system you use, if you pay or don’t pay it is about YOUR family and what works for you to bring a little less stress to your home each day.