Letting go is easier said than done.
There are times when letting go can help a relationship. When letting go of the negative mind-set that gets in the way of true happiness. We need to let go. When we want to have the upper hand to get our own way, to win all of the arguments, to call the shots in the marriage. We need to let go.
The great news is that you can consciously choose to lose the my-way-or-the-highway attitude. Letting go can help free you to make your marriage a truer partnership. When you decide to make the choice of being happy over being right there is a sense of humility that can fill you. This is the art of love.
Choosing to be happy isn’t always simple or easy within a marriage, but it is possible. Learn how you can let go in these three areas in which you might be trying to hold onto within your marriage.
1. Time to fire yourself if you are the boss in the marriage
Do you always insist on having your way about everything? Maybe it’s the way the housework is divided, the kids, the money, etc. This sort of boss-like attitude can put your marriage at risk of being a partnership. Making decisions together can build stronger and richer experiences than insisting on having your own way. Instead of “your way” or “his way” make it “our way”.
If you find yourself getting into a power struggle with your partner, consider dividing up the responsibilities specifically. The two of you could agree to put each other in charge of certain work that needs to get done. Whether it is the housework, finances, and kids. You both need to work together to make it “our way” and not “your way”.
The same can be said about parenting. Make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to basic ground rules and disciple. You can then agree to give each other the option of relating to the kids in your own ways. You both might have different ideas of a parent-child bonding, but if you are having a great time that’s what counts!
2. Say goodbye to happily ever after
There might have been a time where you thought once you are married you would live happily ever after. But now that you are together, why does it never seem to be within reach?
Sure we all have dreams about what we want our marriage to be like, but when you spend your time thinking and dreaming about what might be, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. You lose the opportunity to appreciate the good qualities of what’s already in front of you.
It’s time you jump right in and enjoy what is happening now. Write down all the ways your life is good and your needs are being met. Write down the basics, such as having a home, family, etc. Write down the things you love about your husband and the children. Next time make sure you take the time to thank him when he does something nice, whether it is something small like a household chore or a sweet kiss.
3. Have a “we win” mind-set
Having the last word within an argument can feel great, especially when it feels like you are earning points on the scoreboard. But marriage isn’t a game! Adding up all those points can be costly and damaging to your relationship with each other.
Start with letting go by looking at disagreements you both have as “we” and not a “me vs. him” situation. After all, most situations require both of you to work it out together. Work together to find a solution that both makes you happy.