Last week, we shared the first five of our top ten parenting goals for the year. Here’s a recap:
- Equip and empower for independence
- Develop soft skills and professionalism
- Invest in your relationship
- Build a strong work ethic
- Quash any sense of entitlement
We hope you took some quality time to consider how you’re doing and ways to improve. As imperfect parents, we can all do better. So in that spirit, let’s review the remaining five:
- Help them build their network: Parenting is a team sport. And, during the teen years, we need all the help we can get! Research shows that every child needs at least five caring adult role models who offer wisdom, love, encouragement, friendship, and connections. In addition, workforce recruiting is changing so much that having an inside advantage is almost a must. The time for your teen to build his/her network is NOW, and parents, you can give them a big head start by introducing them to great people you know. It’s one of the most valuable gifts you can give to your children.
- Promote effective time management: Today’s teens and young adults are bombarded by attention grabbers and distractions. Whether it’s technology, social media, or video games, their ability to focus, problem solve, and spend time on what really matters is being compromised. It’s vital to teach our children that time is a precious asset that needs to be managed wisely. Among other things, that means: 1) developing daily “to do” lists organized by priority and urgency, 2) understanding that work comes before play, and 3) limiting the time they spend on low value activities like social media. It’s all part of the “adulting” process, and one day they’ll thank you for it.
- Cultivate self awareness: In our conversations with high school (and even college!) students, we’re struck by how little they really know themselves. And yet, many schools and parents are pressuring them to know exactly what career or major to pursue. That’s one reason why we encourage students to build their self awareness. Among other things, this involves: 1) inventorying their strengths (assets) and challenges (constraints), 2) identifying their interests and passions, and 3) understanding their personality style and personal preferences. Tools such as the DISC personality test and LifeSmart’s Personal Balance Sheet help students to understand who they are, what they have to offer, and what opportunities will help them thrive. Let’s help them make these long-term decisions with some clarity!
- Avoid over committing/respect balance: You’ve all heard about the rise in mental health issues among teens and young adults, including anxiety and depression. We’re stressing out our kids in a major way, and some of this is the result of over-scheduling and committing our kids to build their resumes. Their lack of down time to decompress is clearly taking a toll. Parents, we need to be mindful of how much free time our kids have to reflect, chill, enjoy nature, and pray if they’re so inclined. Let’s be more vigilant about the time requirements for activities before they sign up. Proper balance is a key ingredient to good mental health, and you can help make that happen.
- Have fun: College prep exams. Resume building. College applications. Career planning. Financial aid forms. Yes, the upper high school years are fraught with pressure—all the while our students have to be… students! And, as parents, it’s easy to be so consumed by our children’s success that we get stressed out too. When that happens, we can forget about one of the most important things for a family’s well being—having fun! What do your kids enjoy doing together the most? Camping? Hiking? Playing sports? Watching movies? Playing games? Building things? Cooking a meal? Attending concerts? Enjoying a campfire? Whatever it is, be sure to make room for it.The years really do fly by, and these moments will build relationship capital for a lifetime. #enjoyyourkids
So, these are our top ten. How about yours? We hope you enjoyed them and that they serve you in the years ahead. We’d love to hear your thoughts and encourage you to share with your friends, too.
About the Author
Dennis Trittin is the author of What I Wish I Knew at 18: Life Lessons for the Road Ahead, and Parenting for the Launch: Raising Teens to Succeed in the Real World. To read more or order, visit www.dennistrittin.com.